I. I don’t want another time with Devin. Like. It just hit me. (Not saying he’s responsible) But I’ve been sick a lot this past years and a half. this may have been an effect of his other messing around. And quite frankly I can’t be one of 3345555 girls. I can’t knowingly be one of them all. Sorry. Plus we don’t talk anymore anyway …. so yeah. And he doesn’t even wanna talk to me… if you can’t have a legitimate conversation with me, you cannot get anything from me anymore.

He asked who else had I given head to and I said another person. I asked was he messing with another person he said “Yeah always”

ALWAYS. A L W A Y S . idk whether to be mad or what. I’m not mad though I just have this really confusing emotion going on. Like I did it once with someone else. And he said ALWAYS. got damn.

Its been a while. Sooooo lets catch up. Um, I’ve still been…. engaged in activity with Devin. And well…. its rough in that area. But I’m … yeah.

Shamoi and I had time together and yeah… O.o no bad though just… uhh. Hes cool though I catch myself falling for him sometimes. Hes cool I may have a little crush. But there is Karis so, idk how I’m suppose to deal with that even though they’re friends. I need advice!!

Ooo I’ve been trying to keep more quiet and to myself. … trying to be more idk. I just need to chill.

Oh and I’ve lost some friends buuuut that’s life.

Of course I still need a lot of work, but I’m growing and. Yeah, bare with me people.

I have had a crazy day. Full of drama that I always try to avoid. My name got put in it because thats what females do. I know I didn’t do a thing AND no one said anything to my face… So I’m good!

Sooo Devin I are suppose to have a last time today. But i’m not too sure how thats gonna happen, cause I have other stuff to do. Annd he didn’t respond to my text. And if he doesn’t answer in time.. I guess we won’t have our time :(

riseneyebrow:

Lianne La Havas • Lost & Found

One of two things is going to happen between Devin and myself.
1. Something not good, resulting in something even more not good.
2. Something good happens, and something even better expands on this term.
Until then….

Well. I’m feeling like I’m done with this…. Plus i’m really not getting much out of it on my part. Cause I’ve gotten no head myself. But this is literally the only way we spend time anymore… so I guess thats one of the reasons I do want to keep going. I feel like if we stop, thats gonna be the end of our friendship, which I really really REALLY don’t want, but I don’t think he’ll get it. And another reason is because I do still love him.. But he doesn’t love me the same way I love him… Hm. But on the down side I feel really used this past year and all of this has caused me alot of emotional distress (which I may have caused myself) but yeah that go’s right back to me loving him so much. This is gonna hurt, but I swear i’ll try to not let go of the little friendship I do have with him.. *sigh*

Crappy picture….. BUT, I need to get lanky again.